Dear Private Mannequin;
How surprised I was to
you wounded, displaced, and dismembered.
Uniform intact, yet arm detached from shoulder.
You served so bravely, yes, among men honorably.
So why have they positioned your body so awkwardly?
Tell me why General Fulcrumb caution and SFC Meticulons
orders were over-ridden by Lt. Cl. Rambunction?
Tell me why Dr. Detente Delay refuses to perform
"Serger-ay" upon the rugged 82nd airborne?
Why must you be transported from the Womack Army Hospital
in the city of Ft. Bragg, the state of Nor care-all?
Why must a cargo plane be employed?
(The pilot is quite annoyed.)
Recount for me in Triplicate the details of your accident.
Commander General Jenkins
Dear Commander General Jenkins,
I fell, fell, fell. Not from a plane,
I fell, fell, fell from the caboose of a train, train, train.
SFC Meticulon took us to the caboose, caboose, caboose
within which he let loose, loose, loose a grenades pin, pin, pin.
Gen. Fulcrumb Caution shouted, "Throw!, Throww!, Throooww!,"
yet Lt. Cl. Rambunction shouted, "No, No, Nooh!"
This put us in a quandry, quandry, quandry.
(Believe me, my dirty laundry, laundry, laundry
pranced through my brain, brain, brain.)
We felt the strain, strain, strain
of the grenades detonation at that train station.
Why did Lt. Cl. Rambunction
Shout, "No, No, No!"? At this junction,
I do not know, know, know.
Dr. Detente Delay, delay, delay
Refuses to perform surger -ay, -ay, -ay
Upon the fatigue-clothed 82nd division, division, division.
For us he reserves derision, derision, derision.
"These wounds," he croons, "defy my giftedness---
Yes, even my talentedness.
These instruments for operation
were designed to bring consolation
To soldiers facing nuclear obliteration."
When the joint chief of staff, staff,
heard of this mishap, mishap, mishap, he said,
"They deserve a burial
Most infinitestimally militarial!
Just bury them in the trains caboose
along with the grenades pin loose.
We must send a crane to lift that train
above the head of "Lt. Cl. Riff-Raff"
lest more mannequins bodies become pilaff.
May he be pulverized by the cranes release of the train."
So we must leave the state of
Norcare -all, -all, -all
With our train, train, train, caboose and pin of grenade, -ade, -ade.
So you see, see, see, why the cargo plane, plane, plane
must transport our bodies and the train, train, train
as well as the crane, crane, crane.
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